Inviting You In

 

One of my dreams is to have a backyard exactly like Zeek and Camille’s (from Parenthood) where I can gather my loved ones under twinkling lights and perfectly cooked meals.  My hands-down most favorite book that I’ve read in a long time is Bread and Wine, by Shauna Niequist, that outlines a series of food and recipes that are the basis of relationships and memories. And you can bet that if it were up to me, I would be the last one out the door at church every Sunday and the last one to leave a group of friends because I want to soak up all of the conversation that I can. When I’m in banks and restaurants,  I usually get a nudge in the side from my husband when I’ve over-shared yet again with the bank teller or the waiter.

One of my most favorite things in the world is to spend quality time with friends and family. Or just people in general.

Although I am a people-person through and through, I have the hardest time opening up my own home with people who are new to me, something that I crave deep down. I hesitate because I find myself thinking that it has to be perfect before letting anyone through my doors. My little rental home contains permanent light-green walls that don’t at all match my hand-me-down purple and blue couches on a carpet that has probably been through a few renters, to say the least. And I’m the very best at keeping a load of laundry to fold on my couch among a few other things scattered about. I find myself holding off dinner guests that I don’t know very well and other mama’s to have over for play-dates. I find myself waiting until we figure out which neighborhood we want to live in and permanently put down roots to buy and then I’ll decorate it the way I’d really like and THEN I’ll start having people over and hosting the way I crave to do.

What I’ve discovered, however, is that real relationship isn’t about spending time with each other in the most perfect settings and situations, but just plain spending time with one another. I’ve found that the people that I have let into my home never abandoned me because they saw my towering pile of laundry, but that they continued being my friend anyway and despite it. And they probably didn’t even notice my stained carpets. Our little lives are just too short to hold off until we think that everything is perfect. We’ll miss out on too much. I’ve been missing out on too much.

These are photos of my kids on a very ordinary day. They are still in their pajamas and their hair is reckless and abandoned, because that’s how we roll most days that we don’t get out of the house. You’ll see colored-on toys on my floor and my stain-spotted carpet. The tv is on and I’ve let my daughter play on the computer a bit too long. I LOVE these imperfect photos that I took last June because it shows my kids exactly as they are and they’ll help me to remember them that way. But until now, sharing these were not in my plan.

I’m inviting you in.

I’m inviting you to get to know me a little bit better. I’m shedding off the fear of showing a little too much of my home because these photos of my kids are priceless to me. They are sweet and magical moments of them being 2 and 4 and loving each other in a way that makes my mama-heart melt all over the place.

And I’m working on being brave and opening up myself to allowing relationships to happen even in my imperfect world. I hope this inspires you to do the same.